If You Are Already Willing to Sacrifice Who You Are, What Rights Do You Have to Speak for Your Future?

If you are someone who is afraid of confrontation and conflicts and would prefer to be the "good person" instead, you are setting yourself up in a very disadvantageous position.

Why do some people prefer to play the part of the good guy? Why is it that being that good guy almost always entails self-sacrificing?

In fact, choosing to stifle who you are just so you can please others often indicates an inability to be independent at the subconscious level.

As long as you have established your own mental model and make a stand on your own, you would be able to stand your own ground to decide for yourself if "this decision is necessary for myself". Of course, there will be times when the judgements of others are against what you stand for.

"Since both parties have differing views, we should then resolve this problem through constructive discussions." However, whenever someone else disagrees with the good guy's opinions, he or she often lacks the kind of reasoning such as the one stated above and is accustomed to treating disagreements and confrontations with a negative perspective. Hence, in order to avoid disputes, the good guy will almost always give in to the opposing party as a form of conflict resolution.


Since conflicts usually saps our energy, people who are afraid of contradictions tend to avoid confrontations altogether. As a result, it is often very easy to feel powerless in resolving tricky issues when confronted.

 When these two factors combine in effect, the good guy will often shun away from all kinds of conflicts, and opposing views with others. They would rather continue playing the role of the good guy, choosing to wreck their nerves over the matter just to avoid putting himself or herself in the limelight. This type of people will always put themselves at a disadvantage.

The ability for self-affirmation, knowing where your own values are, understanding who you are and how to be comfortable in your own skin. Having the emotional intelligence to navigate yourself out of conflicting issues, while not trying to kill yourself on the inside. Whenever this kind of person is put under a disadvantaged position, he or she will be open for discussions and attempt to advocate his or her opinions and let it be known. When situations get way too tricky to get out of, they may also choose to back off. These type of people accept that diversity that comes with living in a society and coming from a different perspective is just something that comes along with it.

To be able to uphold the independence and courage to stand for yourself against others during times of conflicts, and be authentic through your interactions with others by portraying a positive perspective while not forcing yourself too much onto others will certainly make such dialogue less intense and the atmosphere more palatable for everyone involved. 
It is only after you finally find a way to detach your own thoughts from the thoughts of the masses will you then be able live out your Life on your own terms, express your own personality in the right way and extend your values outwards positively. You are not only able to elighten others this way, you will also feel happier intrinsically knowing your personal values affect others to become better. 

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